COUNSELLING FOR DISTURBED SLEEP.

People come to counselling for sexual abuse for many different reasons. You may be dealing with childhood sexual abuse or you may be dealing with a more recent experience as an adult. You will be living with the effects every day, trying to cope with feelings of dealing with shame, anger or guilt.

Sexual abuse can effect self esteem and personal power, anxiety, body image, intimacy, sexuality, children and parenting.

Counselling can provide you with useful techniques and skills that you can use now. It might help you think about your current behaviours and feelings in a different way. It might stop stress and triggers before they affect your whole life.

If you are not already receiving counselling, please contact your nearest Centre Against Sexual Assault so that you have support and guidance through the healing process.

All too often, particularly when counselling has not been sought, survivors of sexual assault experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder. (PTSD) The symptoms of PTSD can be experienced years after the event(s). The symptoms can include;

Disturbed sleep

Survivors of sexual assault often experience sleepless nights and/or nightmares. The nightmare may involve reliving the assault/s which indicates that you have unresolved issues pertaining to the assault. As the healing process continues, the nightmares or sleepless nights will become less frequent.

Surviving nightmares

• Surround yourself with familiar things before you go to sleep. This could be a soft toy or something that comforts you. (You may want to hold a cuddly toy or an object that helps you feel safe while you sleep). Perhaps someone you trust could sit with you until you fall asleep.
• Sleep with a lamp/light on so that if you wake up after experiencing a nightmare, you will be able to look around the room and see the familiar things that comfort you, helping you to relax more quickly. If you wake from a nightmare and it is dark turn on a light or lamp. This helps chase away the shadows.
• Concentrate on breathing deeply and slowly. Sometimes when people are stressed they forget to breathe, and freeze up. When this happens it is easier for the nightmare to take hold of you.
• Remind yourself that the nightmare is just a dream. It cannot hurt you even though it may feel scary and painful. Remember that it is a memory of the abuse that is not happening now.
• Seek out a support person, someone you feel safe with, who you can sit with while you calm down.
• Imagine a safe place. This can be anywhere or anything that helps you to feel safe. It may help if you draw or write it down before a nightmare occurs, so that you can have it ready beside your bed if you wake up from a nightmare.
• Remember positive encouragement given by your support people. Imagine that person is there with you, encouraging you. Think of what he/she would say to you to help you feel stronger.
• Write the nightmare down and change the ending. At the point where the dream becomes a nightmare, rewrite the parts which are distressing so that for example, the abuse does not occur, you get rescued or that you overcome the abuser. Over time you are rewriting the actual dream so that when it happens you will dream the new version that you have written about. Tell someone you trust your new version of the nightmare helps to reinforce the 'new' dream into your mind.

Dealing with sleepless nights

Insomnia is when you regularly find it hard to fall asleep or stay asleep. You may have trouble getting to sleep initially or if you can fall asleep, you may find it hard to stay asleep during the night. Sometimes poor sleep habits can contribute to insomnia.

• Try to go to bed and get up at the same time each day
• Before going to bed, spend some time winding down and doing something relaxing.
• Avoid going to bed on a full stomach or hungry
• If you are not asleep after 20 minutes in bed, go to another room until you feel tired again and then go back to bed
• Many poor sleepers spend too long in bed
• Avoid having things in the bedroom that distract you from sleep
• Getting sunlight during the day will help you to sleep better at night
• Most adults need 7-9 hours of sleep a day. This stays the same even in old age
• Naps in the evening can make it hard to sleep at night
• Be sure to get counselling to treat the underlying causes of your insomnia.